The Beauty of Mama

What is a song that feeds you? I mean truly nourishes your soul from every angle. 

For me, it's A Song For Mama - Boys II Men

My closest memories with this song dates back to my early childhood. I think I was in kindergarten, or just a few years shy of beginning. I had fallen asleep in my moms room, and she had her desk directly across from the bed. When I woke up, maybe around 2-3am, this song was playing over and over again. At first, I laid there and listened to it. When I finally stood up, my mom turned around and waved me over.

"This is the video that I'm making for your Nay-Nah for mothers day, come watch."

I ran off about six seconds into the slideshow. I rushed back to her bed, buried my face in the pillows, and shot up a thumb, "It's good!"...and then I broke into tears. I wasn't sure if it was the melody, or the vocals that did it for me. Maybe it was just the lyrics, expressing a deep adoration and love for "mama". Something about that song brought little me to tears, and that says a lot. 

I have never been emotional to art. My siblings called me a crybaby when I was a kid, but I only cried to get my way. Movies, music, anything of the sort never moved me until that song. Even now, I can't name many songs that make me cry. Luckily I've grown a heart, so I often cry during movies and shows--but a song? That's hard.

Since that night, I have not been able to sit through this song without crying. Now, I'm across the world from my mom. All that I have to hold on to while I'm away are these kind of memories, and more often than not, I find them in a song. This song. My mother and I are best friends. We always have been--even when we'd argue growing up. We were mean to each other sometimes, and we said hurtful things to each other. But I was young, and even though she was raising me, she was still just getting to know me.

I will always be grateful for art and its incredible ability to capture and preserve memories that our minds may sometimes forget. I love listening to a song that washed away from me years ago--and being able to relive a moment that I never thought I would again. I love putting on a movie, and thinking back to the times where my siblings and I would cram into my moms bed. I would be the first to fall asleep--no, my mom definitely went to sleep first. But what I love the most is looking back at my moms pictures. No matter if I were in them or not--I always rmemebr the behind the scenes. The aftermaths. The days leading up to them--or the arguments before the camera clicked. And as unpleasant as some of those memories are, I don't think I would trade them for anything else. They are what made me, and they are what make me miss my family. They are what make us us, and even though I forget these sweet feelings sometimes, especially when I'm caught up in my moments--they are the most wonderful things I've got.