Summertime Sadness

Today is a sad day. 

There's something about the summer that brings forth a scent of nostalgia that will never be felt again. Days like this makes me miss my home, and the childhood I'd always rushed to escape. It makes me think of my future family, and all of the traditions I'd pass along just to kiss at my memories a little bit more.

I want a patio...white with bright, summery decor. Lime green, yellow, and orange--maybe. Something Frutiger Aero? I also want a foyer. I foyer that looks out onto the street, so on rainy days we can sit in the foyer and watch cars drive by. I want a big tree in the front yards so my children can make a big pile of leaves in the fall, climb up, and plop down into it. 

I fault myself for not cherishing my youth as I went through it. Of course, there are many things that I wish to unlive and forget--but being young only happens once. 

Days like this make me yearn for another person. Maybe it's feelings like this that make me want to rush into love? I've come to realize many of my mistakes seem to come from the same place. I can't stand it, but I also can't change it. I'm a person who wants so many things, but only reaches for them when it's too late. 

Right now, I'm upset. I'm angry, I'm sad, and I just want to go home.